Post by The Goddess Alexia on Nov 18, 2006 21:54:06 GMT -5
OKay, I posted this blog on my myspace, and through the comments on there had a conversation about it with April...I'd like you all to read it and give me your own thoughts about it, please
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9:08 PM - I hate being sick
Current mood: sad
So I've been thinking for a time now that if I'm going to go down to Maimi for four years to be with Erik while I'm in college, uprooting my whole life, just for him, then isn't it fair of me to ask him to transfer to the tech college up here in my town, just until I've finish highschool.
Everyone I've asked thinks its a fair idea. Now keep in mind I don't want him up here just as a trade off for me going down there, but because I love him, and I miss him and I want him with me. It breaks my heart each time he tells me he loves me, because I can't see and hear him say it to me. He isn't right beside when he says it, hes a zillion miles away, and its really hard on me to have him so far away, and its getting harder every minute it feels like. Thats why I want him to come up here.
So I've been afraid to ask him jsut having a crazy feeling that if I did, he'd tell me no. So finally I just fessed up and asked him. All I did was ask him to THINK about comming up here for his next semister of school until I've finished school. Then we could go down there together. Pretty much what I knew would happen did happen.
AlexiaFFrost: *nuzzles him* baby you know I'd do anything for you right?
ErikAlexiaFFrost: really?
AlexiaFFrost: ANYTHING?
Erik: Yes anything... why
AlexiaFFrost: *sighs and ooks down* because I've had an idea for a while now that I want you to think about and have been too afraid to ask
Erik: hmmmm anything my love
AlexiaFFrost: okay, well, it just that since i'll be up rooting my life for four years to go to school down there, and that we miss eachother so so much, I was hoping that maybe you'd concider transfering to the tech college here in twon for youre next semister, just until I graduate?
Erik: anything within my power
Erik: I just finished applying to school here
Erik: and paid and all that
AlexiaFFrost: *frowns* but I thought you were already IN school there
Erik: I don't fallow
Erik: I just know I finished applying to MDC today
Erik: all that fun stuff that goes with it... plus my scholarships only work here
AlexiaFFrost: oh, okay
Erik: yeah
Erik: I'm sorry baby
Erik: I'd do it if I could
I broke down instantly. I dind't tell him that though. Its just that I knew, I KNEW it would be a no, and I listened to everyone, and I asked him, getting my hopes up for NO reason and I was let down because of it. I hate the fact that I dind't listen to my intincts and just let it be as it was.
Now it hurts twice as much.....
5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
April
Oh i'm sorry! Wow. It's like he put NO effort into even trying to transfer, for 1 whole semester. You are going down there for what? 4 years? And he can't come here for a semester? Um.. alright then. I would be mad too, and you have a right to be upset, so don't think you don't. Its not fair to either one of you that you two have to be apart like this. Like you said, it seems like its getting harded and harder? Well it shouldn't have to be like that, thats not fair to you. I understand that he has reasons and stuff, but he could at least talk to his mom or dad about it and try couldn't he? Wow. Men these days. Just wow.
Posted by April on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:15 PM
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Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound
Yes I know, but its like I told you before, I just...I don't have the guts to bring it up to im againa nd try and plead my case. It hurt enough being told "no" the first time, I don't want to have to be told again. And you're right, it shouldn't be like this, getting harder and harder because it isn't fair. Its not fair to either one of us. I just wish I could tell him just how much its really tearing me up inside. But I can't because then I'll start crying, and even if I don't tell him, somehow he'll know and get upset because he hates it when I cry. Meh, this sucks, majorly.
Posted by Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:37 PM
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April
Hmm.. I see. Well you might have to tell him eventually, or sometime, about how you are feeling. Honesty is the best policy. I mean, you don't have to tell him like right away, or whatever, but if it keeps affecting you, in a bad way, like it is, then you should probably tell him.
Posted by April on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:40 PM
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Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound
Yeah you're right. But you know, with how fast our conversation went, it seems more like he doens't want to than anyof thoes other reasons. It really does. And I don't want to push something on him that he doesn't want to do. I mean yeah, feeling this way is kinda being pushed onto me, but hey, I'm used to it right? I give up my own metal heath to keep everyone else happy, whatever, I'm used to it, its pretty much what my life has been up until now, and I don't begrudge it at all. I'll be okay eventually, I always am, but I know it'll get worse before it gets better.Thats why I told him in the first place, becasue I wanted it to get better. I love him and I want him with me so baddly. I'd probably die if I ever lost him. But I guess I jsut have to wait, and thats all it comes down to.
Posted by Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:50 PM
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April
Yeah. You have some valid points there. If he doesn't wanna do it, then you shouldn't push it on him and pressure him into it. Good point there. Well I guess we will have to wait for that phase of worseness, and then the better, which will be better on everyone, I'm sure. Well.. get better there, as you once called me.. "Lil miss sicky." Lol. So yeah, get better and get to school, its rather weird having one less person around during the day.
Posted by April on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:55 PM
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:08 PM - I hate being sick
Current mood: sad
So I've been thinking for a time now that if I'm going to go down to Maimi for four years to be with Erik while I'm in college, uprooting my whole life, just for him, then isn't it fair of me to ask him to transfer to the tech college up here in my town, just until I've finish highschool.
Everyone I've asked thinks its a fair idea. Now keep in mind I don't want him up here just as a trade off for me going down there, but because I love him, and I miss him and I want him with me. It breaks my heart each time he tells me he loves me, because I can't see and hear him say it to me. He isn't right beside when he says it, hes a zillion miles away, and its really hard on me to have him so far away, and its getting harder every minute it feels like. Thats why I want him to come up here.
So I've been afraid to ask him jsut having a crazy feeling that if I did, he'd tell me no. So finally I just fessed up and asked him. All I did was ask him to THINK about comming up here for his next semister of school until I've finished school. Then we could go down there together. Pretty much what I knew would happen did happen.
AlexiaFFrost: *nuzzles him* baby you know I'd do anything for you right?
ErikAlexiaFFrost: really?
AlexiaFFrost: ANYTHING?
Erik: Yes anything... why
AlexiaFFrost: *sighs and ooks down* because I've had an idea for a while now that I want you to think about and have been too afraid to ask
Erik: hmmmm anything my love
AlexiaFFrost: okay, well, it just that since i'll be up rooting my life for four years to go to school down there, and that we miss eachother so so much, I was hoping that maybe you'd concider transfering to the tech college here in twon for youre next semister, just until I graduate?
Erik: anything within my power
Erik: I just finished applying to school here
Erik: and paid and all that
AlexiaFFrost: *frowns* but I thought you were already IN school there
Erik: I don't fallow
Erik: I just know I finished applying to MDC today
Erik: all that fun stuff that goes with it... plus my scholarships only work here
AlexiaFFrost: oh, okay
Erik: yeah
Erik: I'm sorry baby
Erik: I'd do it if I could
I broke down instantly. I dind't tell him that though. Its just that I knew, I KNEW it would be a no, and I listened to everyone, and I asked him, getting my hopes up for NO reason and I was let down because of it. I hate the fact that I dind't listen to my intincts and just let it be as it was.
Now it hurts twice as much.....
5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
April
Oh i'm sorry! Wow. It's like he put NO effort into even trying to transfer, for 1 whole semester. You are going down there for what? 4 years? And he can't come here for a semester? Um.. alright then. I would be mad too, and you have a right to be upset, so don't think you don't. Its not fair to either one of you that you two have to be apart like this. Like you said, it seems like its getting harded and harder? Well it shouldn't have to be like that, thats not fair to you. I understand that he has reasons and stuff, but he could at least talk to his mom or dad about it and try couldn't he? Wow. Men these days. Just wow.
Posted by April on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:15 PM
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Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound
Yes I know, but its like I told you before, I just...I don't have the guts to bring it up to im againa nd try and plead my case. It hurt enough being told "no" the first time, I don't want to have to be told again. And you're right, it shouldn't be like this, getting harder and harder because it isn't fair. Its not fair to either one of us. I just wish I could tell him just how much its really tearing me up inside. But I can't because then I'll start crying, and even if I don't tell him, somehow he'll know and get upset because he hates it when I cry. Meh, this sucks, majorly.
Posted by Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:37 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
April
Hmm.. I see. Well you might have to tell him eventually, or sometime, about how you are feeling. Honesty is the best policy. I mean, you don't have to tell him like right away, or whatever, but if it keeps affecting you, in a bad way, like it is, then you should probably tell him.
Posted by April on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:40 PM
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Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound
Yeah you're right. But you know, with how fast our conversation went, it seems more like he doens't want to than anyof thoes other reasons. It really does. And I don't want to push something on him that he doesn't want to do. I mean yeah, feeling this way is kinda being pushed onto me, but hey, I'm used to it right? I give up my own metal heath to keep everyone else happy, whatever, I'm used to it, its pretty much what my life has been up until now, and I don't begrudge it at all. I'll be okay eventually, I always am, but I know it'll get worse before it gets better.Thats why I told him in the first place, becasue I wanted it to get better. I love him and I want him with me so baddly. I'd probably die if I ever lost him. But I guess I jsut have to wait, and thats all it comes down to.
Posted by Head Trip For The Mortal Earth Bound on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:50 PM
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April
Yeah. You have some valid points there. If he doesn't wanna do it, then you shouldn't push it on him and pressure him into it. Good point there. Well I guess we will have to wait for that phase of worseness, and then the better, which will be better on everyone, I'm sure. Well.. get better there, as you once called me.. "Lil miss sicky." Lol. So yeah, get better and get to school, its rather weird having one less person around during the day.
Posted by April on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 10:55 PM
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