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Post by elena on Feb 17, 2006 1:36:27 GMT -5
This is a poem I wrote a couple months ago, and keep kind of forgetting about. Its in a format called a ghazal, hence the repetition (kind of hard not to notice, so I figurd I should mention). Well, if you can point out some things for me to improve upon, it would be appreciated. Ransom Note Bleak heavens mirroring the fiery sea Retching, writhing, raving clouds over the fiery sea Light hearted masquerade come to a close Snarling visages rumbling aloud to the fiery sea Perfect formations splattering at life’s end Masked, unheard, a feeble shout to the fiery sea Moon kidnapped, held ransom Captors take their bows to the fiery sea Foaming, swiping sandy treasures To dark depths shrouded beneath the fiery sea Alone with violent nature Rain and soul battered downward into the fiery sea Earth shrieks in protest Tempest plowing into the fiery sea The moon bemoaning her fate in the cloud’s clutches Shining face disallowed by the fiery sea Hurtling to deathly depths, instant tranquility An airy bliss, ransom paid, funeral shroud the fiery sea
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Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:36:55 GMT -5
I thought this was very cool...it was so simple that it was really neat to see how it went from one to the end result., I liked it...
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