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Warfare
Jan 3, 2006 15:41:12 GMT -5
Post by callista on Jan 3, 2006 15:41:12 GMT -5
As she lays among the dead scarlet blood fills the sky her pulse slowing, no blood winthin these veins warm flash turning cold empty, hallow, no longer alive her flesh rotting as the maggots come to play darkness sweeping her small spirit away no mercy in this world, suffering in the next taking our freedom to follow their command shutting us down when we make a stand our blood forever staining this land scarred flesh littering soil her frail body, the newest collection fresh blood for our planet just another price of warfare innocent lives taken to prove their point no one wins when we're no longer alive all life washed away as death crashes in the gods d**ning us for our sins killing us off one by one who will stand when the rest of us are gone.
well it's not great or anything but I thought I'd go ahead and post it, It seemed to be the least dark of all my writings so seemed better then putting up some crazy things first.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:38:24 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:38:24 GMT -5
Wow. Definetly dark and very stark. Definetly coming from a really dark and hopeless area. I kinda thought of all our bombs and such and then the innocent victim's we'd killed through out the years..as minimum casulaites or that he's just some janitor and we blew up the building. While okay in war terms the guy didn't do much ya know? Just trying to make a buck and survive. Definetly a poem for standing up. Maybe trying to put an end to some of this. Awesome job.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:38:45 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:38:45 GMT -5
well thank you ^_^ I'm really not sure if I even intended it to sound that way at first. It was jsut on about feel supressed and then slowly as I wrote it and keep revising it I realized the other angle that was falling in with it. Though I'm glad to see it's something that others can relate to
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:39:03 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:39:03 GMT -5
well thank you ^_^ I'm really not sure if I even intended it to sound that way at first. It was jsut on about feel supressed and then slowly as I wrote it and keep revising it I realized the other angle that was falling in with it. Though I'm glad to see it's something that others can relate to well with the title it can be ambiguitise *God hope I spelled that thing right lol*. So really you can imprint whatever you feel. Can be literal but also that tug of war we experience in life when were going through experiences someitmes good and sometimes bad.... big and small.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:39:20 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:39:20 GMT -5
For something that you didn't put much thoght into , you have accomplished a very raw image of the reality of war and death ...gross as the visual was, great was the expression....nice job....
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:39:45 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:39:45 GMT -5
For something that you didn't put much thoght into , you have accomplished a very raw image of the reality of war and death ...gross as the visual was, great was the expression....nice job.... ya with the visual's but definetly when talking about a real war or made up definetly isn't a picnice.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:40:01 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:40:01 GMT -5
lol, well I try to give a bold visual view within my poems. And I didn't put to much effort into making it war-like though the poem itself took a few days before it really came together and I even thought it looked like much of anything.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:40:17 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:40:17 GMT -5
I think it kinda does. That is cool. Few days? Pretty lucky or that is just poetry lol. I wouldn't know not that much on poetry. Not a big ryhmer.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:40:33 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:40:33 GMT -5
lol, well most of my poems don't rhyme at all, thogh i have a few that do but I'm working on rewording some becuase their a bit older and I don't like the word flow.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:40:49 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:40:49 GMT -5
Very nice, love the dead people. Did you ever make one about the live mourning for the dead though? thatd be interesting.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:41:14 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:41:14 GMT -5
I don't believe I have, I think I've slipped parts of it into other poems but I don't think I've made one just about that.
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Warfare
Jun 2, 2006 18:41:34 GMT -5
Post by Evil3 on Jun 2, 2006 18:41:34 GMT -5
Itd be a cool bridge i think, first poem the dead, second the survivors mourning the dead, but thats just a few thoguhts of mine.
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