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Post by bloodyrain on Dec 8, 2005 21:05:46 GMT -5
Fire in the soul *January 23, 2004*
A fire inside my soul, Nowhere to go. Just Like a candle, It burns until it is gone. It doesn't affect me like you think, im just stronger then you.
All I see is darkness, which will never turn to light, but I will never fear.
It feels like I am skating through the dark, And keep on falling like you wanted.
Tears in my eyes, thinking of all the pain.
My heart is bleeding from life. Life is nothing but betrayal, Betrayal from everyone.
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Post by Aaron on Dec 20, 2005 22:54:40 GMT -5
:)Definetly life feels like this. This isn't bad at all. Really nice and feel the emotions. Life gets better that is for sure. Good job
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Post by Enchant on Dec 24, 2005 20:58:03 GMT -5
Its depressing to me.....Makes me sad and wonders what made you so sad... but poetry is made to make people feel so good job
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Post by --Zoey-- on Dec 28, 2005 8:04:46 GMT -5
This is really good, I especially like the way you used similies to convey the feelings... it really helps the reader to be able to understand and indentify with what you have written. My only suggestion would be to improve the flow, it just seems to jump in a few places.
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