Post by sunsurfin on Mar 15, 2006 18:35:05 GMT -5
Hello, I'm Sun.Surfin. I'm obviousely not a veteran on this forum you all have running, but I'm hoping to become a bit of one. I would like to introduce you all to a novel I've been outlining for the past year and writing for the past several weeks. I would love any feedback from you, as I may change things as I go to suit my audience's likings.
My only copyright notice is that you are free to show this off on any website, but you must give credit back to me, put a link to my website (http://sunsurfin.net), and send me a PM or email at sun.surfin@gmail.com saying you did so!
::.Chapter 1.::
Captain Tuck grasped the cold, hard throttle of the huge jet he was steering. The airline was filled with over 200 passengers of all diversities; the plane was headed to a small airport in California. The plane should have landed several hours ago, but due to bad flight conditions, the schedule had been delayed. The weather was still not the best, but Tuck was currently flying the plane with a very important mission at hand, one that could be delayed no more.
Turbulence rocked the jet back and forth, pellets of ice hitting the window to the cockpit Tuck was staring out of at the moment. He could only see about one hundred feet in front of him.
"Passengers, please return to your seats and fasten your saftey belts. We are about to experience some rough turbulence", said a voice over the intercom system. It was true, Tuck had reached a rough area of the sky; the icey rain was coming down in huge sheets, pouding on the wind shield much harder than before.
Perspiration fell down the pilot's face. He hadn't been in this rough of flight conditions before. He wasn't sure if he could make it... He swayed back and forth, trying to keep control of the huge plane. The floor was shaking so violently he was unsure of if it may fall out from beneath his own feet.
Suddenly, a sound originated from the door. It was a slow, knocking sound.
"Come in," yelled Tuck, over the sound of his equiptment that was buzzing at him. The metal door slid open, and footsteps fell across the vinyl floor of room. Tuck had to stay focused on his flying though; the bad stretch was not yet a thing of the past.
"I've brought you something, Mr. Tuck," said the voice. The voice was rough and coarse, sounding almost like a bull frog croaking away at him.
"What is it?" asked the pilot.
A loud sound resonated from the walls of the cockpit. It was a sudden pop, short yet strong. Suddenly, the room went out of focus for Captain Tuck. First, it whirred in and out, and then spun around in circles.. he was unable to concentrate on what was doing. He couldn't even remember what it was that he was doing. All he knew was that his head hurt. Then, he collapsed forward in his seat, tumbling out of his chair. His body lay in a warm pool of red.
"I hope you liked it," said the voice, lifeless and dark.
The plane plummeled down into the ocean, screams filling the rest of the plane.
::.End of Chapter 1.::
I'd love any feedback anybody has on this short chapter I just wrote. I hope to release another chapter tommorow, but it could be later. Feel free to comment on any aspects of the story; nothing is better than some nice criticism... or praise.
Thanks,
-Sun.Surfin
My only copyright notice is that you are free to show this off on any website, but you must give credit back to me, put a link to my website (http://sunsurfin.net), and send me a PM or email at sun.surfin@gmail.com saying you did so!
::.Chapter 1.::
Captain Tuck grasped the cold, hard throttle of the huge jet he was steering. The airline was filled with over 200 passengers of all diversities; the plane was headed to a small airport in California. The plane should have landed several hours ago, but due to bad flight conditions, the schedule had been delayed. The weather was still not the best, but Tuck was currently flying the plane with a very important mission at hand, one that could be delayed no more.
Turbulence rocked the jet back and forth, pellets of ice hitting the window to the cockpit Tuck was staring out of at the moment. He could only see about one hundred feet in front of him.
"Passengers, please return to your seats and fasten your saftey belts. We are about to experience some rough turbulence", said a voice over the intercom system. It was true, Tuck had reached a rough area of the sky; the icey rain was coming down in huge sheets, pouding on the wind shield much harder than before.
Perspiration fell down the pilot's face. He hadn't been in this rough of flight conditions before. He wasn't sure if he could make it... He swayed back and forth, trying to keep control of the huge plane. The floor was shaking so violently he was unsure of if it may fall out from beneath his own feet.
Suddenly, a sound originated from the door. It was a slow, knocking sound.
"Come in," yelled Tuck, over the sound of his equiptment that was buzzing at him. The metal door slid open, and footsteps fell across the vinyl floor of room. Tuck had to stay focused on his flying though; the bad stretch was not yet a thing of the past.
"I've brought you something, Mr. Tuck," said the voice. The voice was rough and coarse, sounding almost like a bull frog croaking away at him.
"What is it?" asked the pilot.
A loud sound resonated from the walls of the cockpit. It was a sudden pop, short yet strong. Suddenly, the room went out of focus for Captain Tuck. First, it whirred in and out, and then spun around in circles.. he was unable to concentrate on what was doing. He couldn't even remember what it was that he was doing. All he knew was that his head hurt. Then, he collapsed forward in his seat, tumbling out of his chair. His body lay in a warm pool of red.
"I hope you liked it," said the voice, lifeless and dark.
The plane plummeled down into the ocean, screams filling the rest of the plane.
::.End of Chapter 1.::
I'd love any feedback anybody has on this short chapter I just wrote. I hope to release another chapter tommorow, but it could be later. Feel free to comment on any aspects of the story; nothing is better than some nice criticism... or praise.
Thanks,
-Sun.Surfin