Post by Kmylove on Feb 12, 2008 14:40:50 GMT -5
I started writing this fic in the summer, inspired by a song from Within Temptation mainly. I say mainly because the other part of the inspiration came from a sort of an rpg that's been going on on my site, so the main idea sort of came from that and we agreed that I should try and make it into a story.
I only wrote 4 chapters and I stopped, though the idea still spins around my head. I'd like to hear some honest thoughts about it, to know whether to continue writing it or not.
It's a Matrix based fanfic, or rather said, a sequel.
Here is the first chapter, enjoy, and be honest:
Chapter 1: Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I killed you
Would you mind if I tried to
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I feel
It's over now
A flash of lightning was enough for them to see each other, though for a brief second. They saw their true selves, their old selves, the distant memories that still bound them together but at the same moment separated them. But the past had to be left behind, they had to face the new reality where fate had cast them, a reality where they were each other's worst enemy, where they couldn't both live, where the death of one decided the fate of mankind.
If that lightning would have lasted longer, what would have they seen? They would have seen two motionless persons, standing in front of each other too far for them to see each other well in the deep darkness of the night, but closer than enemies would ever stand. None dared speak, none dared move.
One of them remembered the past and didn't want to let go, the other had vague memories of the past but couldn't feel connected to them in any way. One's eyes were still burning with the past and present love, the other's were steel cold and emotionless.
What did they wait for? One waited for a miracle which would never come, the other waited for the proper moment to attack.
Another flash of lightning... Their eyes spoke instead of their voices, agreeing that it was time, that it made no sense to still delay the moment...
They moved towards each other...
I only wrote 4 chapters and I stopped, though the idea still spins around my head. I'd like to hear some honest thoughts about it, to know whether to continue writing it or not.
It's a Matrix based fanfic, or rather said, a sequel.
Here is the first chapter, enjoy, and be honest:
Chapter 1: Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I killed you
Would you mind if I tried to
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I feel
It's over now
A flash of lightning was enough for them to see each other, though for a brief second. They saw their true selves, their old selves, the distant memories that still bound them together but at the same moment separated them. But the past had to be left behind, they had to face the new reality where fate had cast them, a reality where they were each other's worst enemy, where they couldn't both live, where the death of one decided the fate of mankind.
If that lightning would have lasted longer, what would have they seen? They would have seen two motionless persons, standing in front of each other too far for them to see each other well in the deep darkness of the night, but closer than enemies would ever stand. None dared speak, none dared move.
One of them remembered the past and didn't want to let go, the other had vague memories of the past but couldn't feel connected to them in any way. One's eyes were still burning with the past and present love, the other's were steel cold and emotionless.
What did they wait for? One waited for a miracle which would never come, the other waited for the proper moment to attack.
Another flash of lightning... Their eyes spoke instead of their voices, agreeing that it was time, that it made no sense to still delay the moment...
They moved towards each other...