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Post by Mistress Rell on Dec 12, 2006 18:48:43 GMT -5
It sounds interesting. The fact that the moon and the Earth are so closely connected would make it interesting to see what would happen.
I say go with it. Any story idea you come up with, you should write down an outline on paper or save it to computer. That;'s wht I do. This way, if you get bored with it, then you can pick it up later on.
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Post by architeuthisdux1 on Dec 12, 2006 21:17:19 GMT -5
All right I'll keep going with it, if i get good response with the realtively long short story, I mightr expand it into a novella.
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Post by Mistress Rell on Dec 21, 2006 18:56:18 GMT -5
You have created a very interesting plotline, yet there were a few things I found that you could improve abit. A few suggestions; 1. Explain in some detail why we have to put garbage on the moon. I thought this fact would be important. You gave a brief explanation, but it wouldn't carry the story. What happened that we have to put our garbage there? 2. More dialogue. Actually write down the argument between karl and his wife, and the conversations when he and his friends are watching the movies and out in the Entertainment District. 3. STry not to repeat. I have that problem too. Try to find other ways to do 'Carl did this, then Carl did that.' 4. The bomb plot is a good one, you should expand on it. 5. Why Carl? What was it about him that made the man choose to tell him? Don't let it be some random event. Maybe there;'s a reason he told Carl. Anyway, those are my suggestions. Very good work.
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Post by architeuthisdux1 on Dec 22, 2006 15:43:37 GMT -5
Ah yes, thank you. Thanks for reading it, i will take those into mind.
What do you mean by bomb plot?
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