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Post by Mistress Rell on Dec 6, 2006 12:46:23 GMT -5
I liked this story, very well written, very original. I plan on folowing it when you write more, (yes I will read the second part you posted. ), and it will be interesting to see where you take this. My only thing is, maybe you could add more detail into certain parts. This might work better if you changed it into third-person descriptive. So that instead of us seeing it through your eyes, we would be looking in on him.
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Post by architeuthisdux1 on Dec 7, 2006 16:38:09 GMT -5
All right, I'll take that into consideration. I normally do stories in 3rd person, but tried it differently this time, and it didn't work out as well, I guess.
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Post by heavyweaponsmaster on Dec 10, 2006 18:02:32 GMT -5
I liked the story, could u write more?
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Post by architeuthisdux1 on Dec 12, 2006 16:37:51 GMT -5
I could I guess, if you could wait till the weekend.
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