Post by uozumi on Jan 6, 2005 20:35:02 GMT -5
I thought that I'd let my brother come in on this one. Show him how an SG-1 humor fic is done.
Uozumi
If we're done with the commercials, I'll say we don't own anything.
Legato with vengeance
PS: this is dedicated to Cypher, because without him, this would never have happened, and the world might have been a better place.
BABYSITTING: Hammond-style
Uozumi
If we're done with the commercials, I'll say we don't own anything.
Legato with vengeance
PS: this is dedicated to Cypher, because without him, this would never have happened, and the world might have been a better place.
BABYSITTING: Hammond-style
General George Hammond was in charge of the Stargate command deep inside the basement of NORAD deep in Cheyenne Moutain, Colorado. The extremely bald man was in charge of approximately fifteen units called SG teams, mostly comprised of four to six members, who went out to explore the universe in a archeological find of the past millennium. It was called a Stargate, a large circular object of alien origin that blasted the teams into many unknown planets.
Right now, Hammond was having a meeting with one of the most squirrelly, demanding, and downright annoying (sometimes) unit, designated SG-1.
SG-1 was comprised of four members ranging in ages from about thirty to about one hundred and fifty years old. It was human and alien, one member got cloned once, another has died and come back to life, yet another is part-alien, and the other is host to an alien worm called a Gou'ald. Not only was this group occasionally temperamental, sarcastic, stubborn, and dense at times, they never showed their true colors until their meeting to discuss their plans for their next mission.
Right now, two of the members were having a frank exchange of ideas across the table from each other.
"Well, I think that we should."
"Jack, we don't know these people, and they might -"
"And, when has that stopped us?!"
"Many times!" the tawny-harried man leaned forward, "We've been in prison how many times?!"
"And, whose fault is it usually?!"
The youngest member of the team leaned back in his chair, holding Jack's gaze.
"Okay, fine don't answer that," Jack grouched, "but still I think I'm right and you're wrong!"
General Hammond watched the exchange, eyebrow raised. Jack O'Neill, a former test pilot was much like a child sometimes, especially when he argued with his co-worker, Daniel Jackson, a bespectacled archaeologist.
When Hammond was a teenager, looking a part time job, his older sister worked him into a daycare position, and at moments like these, he would get nostalgic. There were about four or five different types of children, and SG-1 always displayed four of the types beautifully.
Jack was the kid you had to watch constantly. Attention-starved and a troublemaker, he would antagonize the other children until he got his way, like right now. He won't back down, and won't let go.
Daniel was the instigator type. When antagonized, the instigator-type just keeps asking for it, never letting up either. Both types are stubborn, strong-willed to the extreme point, and determined people. Neither give in until one of them submits (which is rare), or someone intervenes.
Hammond glanced between the two men. It wasn't to the intervention point yet, so he could continue to let them bicker. Jack was in the brooding stage and Daniel was in the thoughtful "I'm going to win" stage.
Turning his attention away, Hammond observed the other two members of SG-1, Major Samantha Carter and Jaffa Teal'c. Major Carter displayed another trait he had seen as a daycare personnel. She was the type that was probably more advanced intellectually than the other students, always questioning, but quietly sitting in the background until something was apparently about to go inexplicably wrong. Her blue eyes were glancing between the warring forces as well, but her brain was churning with a solution that could make all parties somewhat happy.
Then, there was Teal'c. He was the child that might just sit in the corner, doing his own thing or merely just watching the other children with an expression that made you wonder if there was anything going on in his mind. He was usually the person that the antagonist would flock to when necessary, trying to get him to come out and play, or just try to figure out if there was anything going on in that mind of his. Sometimes people like Teal'c really had nothing going on in their mind, but Teal'c always did, but what that was, no one could tell you but Teal'c.
Once there had been another member who displayed the fifth type that Hammond had seen in his daycare days. Jonas Quinn was the kind of kid that wanted everyone to like them, but sometimes they didn't. He was always trying to impress the group, even if he was reckless. These types of kid clung onto the antagonizer, and didn't let go, even if the antagonizer wanted them to. They tried to be the best at everything, help everyone, and were always insecure, but they were all in all good kids, just a little too much of an enthusiastic participant.
Jack had leaned forward, he was going to speak again, "Look, Space Monkey, we need to bring the -"
"No."
"But -"
"No."
"No buts! I'm the commanding officer here! I call the shots!"
"I'm not in the military, you can't command me."
"Just watch me."
Now Carter stepped in, "You know Daniel could have a point. I mean, sir, what if he's right? There's signs that if we bring -"
"No, we have to bring it!" Jack stood up, banging a fist on the table.
Now was definitely the time to step in, "Colonel O'Neill, if you can't supply an exact reason as to why you should take this thing, then we should listen to Dr. Jackson and not take it."
Jack stared at him, then sat back down, brooding.
"I'll give you one hour, then we'll reconvene and if you can supply an answer in that time, then we can consider taking it on the mission," Hammond rose, "Until then, SG-1 dismissed," and then he left the room. Pausing just outside the door, he listened as the room erupted into shouting.
It was like the daycare he used to work in, only you couldn't exactly send them sit in different corners.
THE END